My husband and I knew that we wanted a family, and providing a loving and safe home for children in need of a forever family seemed like the obvious way to go. Having thought about it for a long time, we eventually got in touch with a local adoption agency in 2019.

At the time, the approval and family finding process felt frustrating and never-ending, and we let it take over our lives (not helped by COVID!). However, the agency and social workers were great; with hindsight we understand how important the process was, and now that we’re parents some of the discussions that at the time felt odd or intrusive make sense! As soon as our little girl came home the process felt like a distant memory amidst all the excitement of being parents.

We’ve received so much support throughout our adoption and parenting journey – our agency, nursery, school, other parents, family, neighbours, employers. It’s been a relief to be treated just like any other family, but with a recognition that certain situations – say, when the class is making Mother’s Day cards – we might need a different approach. Of course we know there are and will be challenges faced by gay dads – such as innocent comments about mum from strangers, extra scrutiny at passport control, providing female role models and support as our daughter grows up. Luckily, there are plenty of same-sex adopters around, with lots of opportunities to talk about issues we face and ensure our children see other families with same-sex parents.

Adopting has completely changed our lives for the better – we love doing all the family things that we dreamed about for so long… it’s exhausting but so much fun! I love seeing our daughter’s reaction when she learns how to do something or experiences something new. Seeing how our little girl has grown and thrived since she joined our family has been such a joy, and an incredibly rewarding experience.

I would encourage anyone thinking about adoption to reach out to an agency and other adopters to find out more!

Harshil

Visit our Adoption, Fostering & You campaign page for more.